Warning! Warning! Warning!
Normally I try to feature lovely pink flowers or sweet white seashells over here on my blog.
Or maybe exotic locations, like Daytona Beach, where I have tromped about...
What you are viewing here today is the damage done by a monster*size grasshopper to one of my favorite amaryllis bulbs last season.
Not exactly a work of art during the best of times, most amaryllis bulbs could pass for an old onion.
After my new bulbs bloom during the Christmas holidays I routinely plant them outside to bloom over and over and over again in my yard the following spring.
Well, that is the plan that has served me well over the years.
The plan that worked until the monster*sized grasshoppers took over a few summers ago.
This spring, in a last ditch rescue operation, I relocated my outside bulbs into indoor pots and placed them behind a locked screen door out of hopper harm's way.
We will see, we will see...
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the baby hoppers are back in full force. Inch~long black ones with high hopes of growing HUGE by eating my dear garden.
Clearly, clearly LOTS of grasshopper hanky*panky was going on end of last summer right out there under my nose.
For days I traveled far and wide to find a cure to rid my yard of the 10,000 babies. Each hour they multiplied and doubled in over-all size. No joke.
"I could sell you this poison," explained Janet at the local hardware store, pointing to the bottle on the right, "but it wouldn't kill them and you don't want it NEAR your herbs. Do you have squirrels and birds in your yard?"
"You might try that mixture," explained Jim at Home Depot, pointing to the can on the left. "Of course, it will cost you $40 plus the $55 sprayer and you might want to wear a HazMat suit. Do small children play in your yard?"
So,
right now I am looking for a group of 8~year~olds who would be eager to gather up the baby hoppers at a penny a piece. Maybe a nickle for the larger ones. I'll even spring for some rocky-road ice*cream at day's end.
Also, I am willing to throw in a jar so each volunteer can carry their collection of insects back home ... into another neighborhood ... far, far from mine.
If you cannot find me for a day or two I am over here busy, busy designing a Baby Grasshopper Collecting Girl Scout Badge which is my Plan B.
We will see, we will see...























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